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Tuesday, June 16th, 2009
3:21 pm - Almost there...
Ok, I'm totally ready to go at any time, obviously.
But I'm still trying to give things a chance. I just
can't seem to reason with these people at all. They
so fricking stubborn, it's unbelieveable. They can't
even admit they're are wrong when there are wrong
even if you prove it to them physical or verbally.

They just don't give a damn is what the problem is,
and now I've finally opened my eyes to the truth about
them and, even despite having all of this knowledge
about them and, how they like to do things; there is
nothing I can do about it. Not a damn thing. No matter
what I do or say, I am screwed, so I don't know why I
am even still around.

Knowing that I feel this way right now, they have me on
watch again and now they won't let me cook, heh. Bastards...

current mood: infuriated

(Dark Souls Released.)

Thursday, April 30th, 2009
3:51 pm - Wondering thoughts
You know, its kind of true what they say sometimes. Life IS but a fleeting dream when you really look at it. For some, its more like and endless nightmare that you cannot seem to escape. Life is what we make of it, yes. Although, it doesn't start out that way. One must go through a series of unexpected and non-optional events in life before we can reach that point.

Another harsh factor in the equation of life, is time. As you go on in life, you slowly begin to be more aware of how things work and what possible potentials you may have. The goal here is to push on and pursue these potentials that you have. Whether you realize right away or not, you will more likely become aware of its role in life.

That thing from which I speak of is the most important thing that NO ONE PERSON can escape from its grip. That THING is called TIME. Time is something that will always go on even after every last living creature is gone. Time waits for no one.

Time is also something we could learn from as it continues to move forward undeterred and withut regrets. Though time may lack emotions; unlike us, it can still serve as an example for all in hopes that it may encourage one to dream and always want to more forward to new experiences eith each passing day.

current mood: contemplative

(Dark Souls Released.)

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
9:43 am - Words to the one I love
Yukimura-sama, here I am sitting in my classroom listening to some beautiful music similar to that of our era. Music that my mother used to love when she was still alive.

Everytime I listen to it, it makes me remember all of the good times we spent together, laughing and watching a show that we both really liked.

Like with you and our beautiful daughter, I miss her so very much. She had a kind and generous heart like that of yours my love. Now I must endure the pain of loss, guilt, and regret once more. Only this time, I must do it all on my own.

If only you were here my love. I'm still not aware of what it is exactly that binds my soul to this new existance that I now live. I want so very much to join you again as I should have in the past.

Unfortunately though, it seems that I must continue onward in this endeavor until the gods see that I have fulfilled there demands of me, whatever they may be. I have no idea what it is that they require of me.

Obviously it is not that of a warrior as it was in the past. I that is the case; it will most likely be during a time of was and chaos. This era seems to thrive on war and ambitions some what similar to that of our era, only it's far more chaotic ans corrupt in comparison.

I truely detest this new era and its greedy, power hungry, and over ambitious ways. The vast majority of the world's population today takes what they have and the knowledge of several eras past endeavors and ways of war far too lightly. They also do not apprecicate the resources given to them nor do they value the meaning of honor, justice, or trust.

Do you remember the time we used to spend underneath the cherry-blossom tree in the back of the castle grounds? I remember that same question you would ask me everytime we would go there. You would say, "I wonder what the future will be like once all of this fighting has come to an end". You also used to say, "I hope that I survive long enough so that I may one day see this land in a time of peace where everyone can walk around freely and live normal lives free from all of the tears and bloodshed".

I thanks the gods that you weren't here to experience the answer to that question. I also remember there was a few times when we sat there and wondered if the fighting and the chaos would ever come to an end. Apparently we won't be around long enough before any of us will be able to realize the truth in time to save our planet that we are destroying along with all of the innocent lives that will continue to be sacrificed for a select fews overwhelming greed and selfish ambitions.

This new world truely disgusts me in so many ways that its truely saddening. I can only hope that the gods will one day come to forgive us. I now begin to wonder if all of our efferts were in vein. All the meaningless battles and bloodshed that we went through to achieve a world of peace and prosperity. Was it all for nothing? Did we make the right choices my love; or were we just adding to the never-ending choas?

current mood: crushed

(Dark Souls Released.)

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009
2:13 pm - a new look...
I think it's about time I gave my journal a new make-over. It's been ages since I've done anything with it. But on the same token, I rather like it and it really does suite my theme for my journal and username doesn't it? What do you guys think? Should I change it up, or should I leave it as is.

current mood: relaxed

(Dark Souls Released.)

Wednesday, March 4th, 2009
8:35 pm - people to be cherished
It's been an interesting day today. I actually slept well lastnight thanks to my meds. I even had a nice dream for once. I woke up pretty early though and was totally energetic. It was so weird.

I decided to go ahead and get out of bed and make a fresh pot of coffee before I started my day. My usual morning behavior I guess you could say. After that, I got dressed and went ahead and got my meds; then I did my chore with old Dusty.

Dusty is like my adopted father so to speak. Shortly after I came to live here at the Safe Haven, He had become really fond of me and he once told me that until he had met me, he felt so alone and empty. I'm like, omg! That's how I always feel too. Of course that hasn't changed for me but I guess that's to be expected.

I'm so happy that I am making a difference in someone else's life. I'm just affraid that when he does recover; he'll move out and get his own place. He's like the only family I have now. I really don't want to be alone again. I guess time will tell when the time is right.

current mood: contemplative

(2 Dark Souls Gathered. | Dark Souls Released.)

Thursday, February 26th, 2009
3:03 pm - School and my current being
Right now, I am sitting in computer lab at school. I've decided that I am ready to go ahead and get my GED. I started a few weeks or so back. Only problem was; I started at the end of the semester, so I am going to have to start at the beginning here soon.

It's a bit confusing for me on the math part because it's far beyond what I got up to and it's pretty much the lowest that they go in the GED book. Looks like I'm gonna have a fairly difficult time with the math portion of the GED class. Not that that it is a major suprise to me, because math has pretty much always been my weakest point in highschool. No biggy though; I don't plan on giving up until I achieve my goal and get my GED. Of course, I don't plan on actually taking the GED test itself until I feel confident enough to do so and my grades start to show positive results as well. I don't want to have to go through it a second time if I can help it. I prefer to be patient and take my time on it; otherwise I will have achieved nothing and wasted my time.

Aside from all of that, things at the place where I am living havn't gotten any better. Infact, they seem to be getting worse as time goes by and I am starting to be treated as a mere convenience and nothing more. My illnesses are actually known to be among the worst mental illnesses out there and yet they are starting to treat me like I have no illnesses and disreguard my pain as minor everyday aches and pains; but infact, Depression itself is known to be one of the highest contributers to death in the world; plus the condition with my teeth is actually lethal and I've been dealing with it for years now.

According to my doctor, the infection has already spread as fair up into my head to where she was able to actually see it through my ears and it's also attacking my heart and immune system. I wouldn't doubt that my time to go isn't all that far around the corner. I can definitely feel it more and more as each days passing. All I can do is pray and never give up. I hope something happens soon because my spirits are beginning to drop.

(Dark Souls Released.)

Friday, November 9th, 2007
11:25 am - I'm doing my best...
Surprise, surprise...!! I'm still alive and kicking. It's been a very ugly year for me let me. I hope to get through this as soon as possible and get back on my feet cause I can't take this much longer. I'll go nuts if I have to stay in that place for much longer then need be. I never thought I'd see the day that I would be forced to stay in a shelter. A lot of the people there are just awful. I've already had a lot of my stuff stolen from me. A lot of the military people have been really kind to me though. They gave me lots of stuff. Some camo clothing, a sleeping bag, a blanket, bathroom supplies and some shower shoes, some military boots, M.R.E.s, and a backpack to put all of my stuff in. Everyone here calls me Airforce now. I'm even starting to consider joining the military to be honest but right now I'm getting some of my medical issues tended to first and a possible new pair of glasses maybe. I would help out a lot by dooing a lot of volunteer work for them and now they have me helping out behind the desk from time to time. I'm even working on getting treated for my teeth and my depression problem so big yays for me. Other then that, I spend a lot of time reading books or going over to the library to check my e-mail and such. I just thank god that I've managed to hold onto my laptop all this time. I think I'm gonna try and leave it with my sister though so I don't have to carry it around anymore, plus I don't want to be pushing my luck carrying it around anymore and constantly missing sleep over it. The only thinig that sucks right now is that I have no money or ways of getting any. My last job still owes me my check though and I can't work right now cause my social worker advised me that now wouldn't be a good time so she's trying to help me get food stamps and social security, possibly even get me started in my own apartment. I can't wait to get away from this awful place though. The people in here scare me. Well, time to go take my meds and head back for lunch time. I pray that all my friends are doing well and I hope to see everyone very soon. ja ne.

current mood: hopeful

(5 Dark Souls Gathered. | Dark Souls Released.)

Monday, February 19th, 2007
12:04 pm
well, I have an interview tonight at 7:30 at a Dennys so I'm just gonna pray that I get this job and find someplace to stay. If I can't sleep then I can't maintain my job and other daily functions. Life isn't being very kind to me lately it seems. I dunno, I'll just have to figure something out cause I don't want to be out in the cold lonely streets anymore. my hands and feet are still frostbitten from it and I'm starving hungry.

current mood: exhausted

(7 Dark Souls Gathered. | Dark Souls Released.)

Monday, February 5th, 2007
6:08 pm - Iria music video!

(Dark Souls Released.)

Wednesday, December 27th, 2006
2:52 pm

When there's no more room in hell, the BattleMaiden will walk the earth.

Which movie was this quote from?

Get your own quotes:

(Dark Souls Released.)

Monday, December 25th, 2006
2:34 pm
Merry Christmas everyone and happy holidays.

(Dark Souls Released.)

Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
12:34 pm
watch BattleMaiden fight

current mood: geeky

(Dark Souls Released.)

Sunday, November 19th, 2006
3:47 am - music mania
ok, I've got a hell of a lot of music on my comp now but I'm starting to running out of ideas. My brain is having a hard time remembering all of the songs that I originally wanted plus some old 80s songs that I used to listen to. Also, I think I finally halo-ed myself out for a good long time. I havn't touched my PS2 in weeks and I have so many news games that I havn't even touched yet. I was working on my Valkyrie Profile 2 but havn't touched it yet in about three weeks. So now I think I'm just gonna take a week or two away from having company over and start focusing on the games that I paid a lot of money for. Actually, I really should make sure that my FFXII is a good copy. I'll check it in the morning though. Now, I am off to bed.

current mood: worn out

(Dark Souls Released.)

Saturday, November 18th, 2006
7:09 am - a slightly peaceful day
Well, I still didn't get enough sleep but it didn't seem to bother me too much and the day was pretty ok. I did play some halo online but it started kind of crappy. I decided to give another chance and ended up making some new friends and having a lot of fun in the end. So I guess I can't really complain ya know? Me and Rob hungout for a bit during the early evening as well and we chatted a bit and played some Dynasty Warriors 5 empires. Something I havn't played in ages. I havn't really been touching my playstation at all these days. I guess having internet again just feels more at home for me then playing games. *shrugs* oh well, I think it's about time I shut things down and went to bed. I promised Rob that we'd start walking some laps around the park starting today so I'll have to get some sleep.

current mood: relaxed

(Dark Souls Released.)

Friday, November 17th, 2006
2:45 am
Well, it wasn't a great day but atleast I wasn't pull all of my hair out by the end of the day. I didn't get any damn sleep though so hopefully I'll sleep like a rock tonight. If anyone calls or wakes me up, then I'm gonna punt them to the moon! I'm a crazy bish when ya wake me up >

(Dark Souls Released.)

Thursday, November 16th, 2006
5:36 am
What a crappy day it's been. The only cool thing about today was the the Carlos Mencia show that I wathced. I take that back... My friend Rob decided to humour me and played some King of Fighters with me and actually liked it. Aside from that, my day completely friggin sucked! So I tried to make up for it by turning my ringer off and listening to music but did that work? Hell no! They always find a way to drive me crazy. ~_~ I tried to play Halo online and I got stuck with a bunch of whining cheating pain in the asses. If ya can't play then get the f**k off ya jackass. Don't come crying to me jerk. ~_~* I'm just so frustrating with all the crap going on around here and from major lack of decent sleep. I'm so edgy that I'm ready to pop. Heaven help whoever pushes that big red button while I'm around.

current mood: irritated

(4 Dark Souls Gathered. | Dark Souls Released.)

Tuesday, November 14th, 2006
3:31 am - Seeking a worthy opponent
For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to test my abilities in a lot of games with different people but have yet find many people who are willing to play at the level of game play that I have struggled so long to reach. I admit that I'm no master of gaming but I do consider my self to be very experienced for the most part. Regardless, all I ask is that someone actually tries to meet me halfway or something close to it. Why do people always try to take the easy way through everything and what's so great about victory if all you had to do was button mash or cheat your way to it? I don't care if I lose as long as it's fun and I can get a really good challenge out of it. I want for someone to push me to and beyond my limits. I want to get better! Maybe I'm just seeking a deadend for dream...

current mood: disappointed

(2 Dark Souls Gathered. | Dark Souls Released.)

Thursday, June 8th, 2006
8:51 pm - Ninja frenzy
NarutoFever.com Love Compatibility Test

But of course you knew I'd get her because Anko is the coolest ninja! Well... next to Kakashi sensei of course. ^^

current mood: dorky

(17 Dark Souls Gathered. | Dark Souls Released.)

Sunday, May 21st, 2006
3:49 pm

My japanese name is 秋本 Akimoto (autumn book) 和子 Kazuko (friendly child).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

current mood: mellow

(Dark Souls Released.)

Friday, May 19th, 2006
10:42 pm
It's been one of those tiring days where the heats just drains you of every bit of energy you have. I've just been so sleepy and it's been so hot that it's been so hard to get sufficient sleep lately. I'm hoping I'll be able to just passout and sleep till like noon tomorrow. Heaven knows I really need as I'm supposed to babysit my sister's kids tomorrow. What sucks is tomorrow is supposed to be my peace and quiet day where I watch my shows and stuff. It's the only day that I do not like to have people around. Peace and quiet is a rarity around my house. May the gods grant me the patience to get through tomorrow. ~_~;

current mood: drained

(2 Dark Souls Gathered. | Dark Souls Released.)

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